Our Waldorf Homeschool Journey

Hi Everyone

It’s icy cold again here in our part of the Cape. Spring refuses to get going at this time. I’d like to share a very brief summary of the temperament of the Melancholic Child. This is often the most misunderstood of the temperaments. My daughter is Melancholic and it took me years to understand where she was coming from, you’ll see why in a moment!

The physical characteristics of this child is that they are normally slender and often willowy, and grace full. They usually have quite voices that are soft and often sound sad and forlorn, no matter what it is they are discussing.

These children seem to dwell on the negative in any situation, and feel the pain of every one and every thing around them. I’ve seen it daily with my daughter. She’ll watch nature taking it’s course and wish that she could change it and make it better. At this point, she’s 10 years old soon, she feels the pain of every blade of grass and the tiniest snail. If her brother hits a tree with his sword, then she gives him a long dressing down, explaining how the tree feels pain and how would he like that done to him?!

This child spends time dwelling on the sadness of the world and it comes across to others as self absorbed or downright selfish. Often we’ll plan a trip for the family and the rest of us are excited, and it is a place Juliette wants to visit, but she will constantly point out the various things that could go wrong on the trip. To the point where we all turn to her and say, “Stop! Look outside, look at the sunshine, we’re finding new things, on an adventure, come on cheer up!”

It can make you want to pull your hair out if you don’t see that that is the way they are. She comes across as ungrateful, but she’s not, what she seems to be thinking is…What a beautiful time we’re having, but soon it will be over and just a memory.She appears to need this wallowing.

Now change of any sort upsets this child. I’ve found the smallest thing changed is a disaster. She needs to be prepared in advance for any changes that take place in her world. It helps to let her share your memories of times when you felt pain, or uncertainty. When I do this with my daughter, she postively glows and wants to know more, Saying things like,”Oh poor you! How could that happen to you! You don’t deserve that! etc”

This helps her feel less isolated. She often needs to be left to her sadness, I take her treats, and offer to read her stories. The stories she loves best and needs are those where bad things happen, people struggle and then triumph above all else at the end.

This child needs a steady rhythm or routine, where she is secure in the knowledge that after waking up she’ll be asked to get dressed, then she’ll have breakfast, then chore time, then school etc. I even warn her when it is Friday that Saturday is coming and remember there is no school, and give her an idea of what we’ll be doing. I find this particularly hard as I have a Sanguine Temperament, and love nothing better than to wake up and think, “So what shall we do today?”

What we have found also lightens my daughter is do silly stuff, faces, voices, or just mention daft stuff, for example….When I cook, I’ll turn around once in a while and make the salt cellar or rice bottle talk, about it’s life on the shelf. Or the thing she adores is when I talk for the cat. Each of our cats has a different voice, and they’re quite rude! If she is sitting with a piece of toast and the cat is watching her waiting for a titbit, then I’ll say….”Hey! You! You’re being greedy there, come on just a little piece, you won’t miss it. Come on now. Look here I’ll chew your teddy if you don’t give me toast.”

She then bursts into giggles and often says, “Stop Mom! I’m going to choke!” But her mood is lighter and the weight of the world is lifted off her shoulders for a short while.

Please remember this is the briefest of summaries, of the Melancholic Child, I strongly recommend you read Rudolf Steiners, The 4 Temperaments if you want to know more.

I hope in sharing you may have found something helpful for yourself and your family.

I’ll be doing the Sanguine Child next. And now typical Sanguine mother I’m 12 minutes late for breakfast making and have to dash! It’s French Toast and raw honey this morning.

Many blessing to you all.

Sue.

Filed under: The 4 Temperaments, Waldorf Homeschooling on September 26th, 2008